SWORDS OF KIRFOIUAH!!!!111!one oneoneone oen
by Kevin James · in General Discussion · 03/22/2008 (6:29 am) · 53 replies
[sarcasm]
Okay guys. I've made 4 or 5 small games, and now I'm ready to make the MMORPG to defeat WOW and stick it to the man! It shall be called:
SWORDS OF KIRFOIUAH Pronouced: KIR-O-IUAH
It shall feature:
1.) A world 3 times larger than Morrowind and Diablo 2 combined. It will actually be round. Like the earth. I think.
2.) Twitched based combat totally impossible to do over the internet.
3.) 70+ classes to choose from including: Monk of the High Lord, Monk of the Slightly Lower Lord, Monk of some Guy, and Rogue.
4.) 300,000 kajillion different items to find, discover, and generally otherwise put into your inventory. Examples include: potion of healing, potion of mana and potion of the High Lord.
5.) 999,999 trahillion different kinds of monsters to kill, bash, maim, or generally make them feel like dying.
6.) NPC's that are so lifelike you will think they are lifelike. To accomplish this task, I will be researching ways to digitize humans into a computer program. Who needs Finite State Machines when you can have actual humans?
Ambitious? Yes.
Impossible? Yes.
Confident? Yes?
Monks of the High Lord? Yes.
Probably violating some law against enslaving humans into computer programs? Yes.
Do I have absolutely none of the skills required to create such a feat of game development? Yes.
That's why I need some community members to become my slaves and make the game for me. I will take all the credit and digitize you into some monkey NPC when you finish your job.
What do you think?
[/sarcasm]
Okay guys. I've made 4 or 5 small games, and now I'm ready to make the MMORPG to defeat WOW and stick it to the man! It shall be called:
SWORDS OF KIRFOIUAH Pronouced: KIR-O-IUAH
It shall feature:
1.) A world 3 times larger than Morrowind and Diablo 2 combined. It will actually be round. Like the earth. I think.
2.) Twitched based combat totally impossible to do over the internet.
3.) 70+ classes to choose from including: Monk of the High Lord, Monk of the Slightly Lower Lord, Monk of some Guy, and Rogue.
4.) 300,000 kajillion different items to find, discover, and generally otherwise put into your inventory. Examples include: potion of healing, potion of mana and potion of the High Lord.
5.) 999,999 trahillion different kinds of monsters to kill, bash, maim, or generally make them feel like dying.
6.) NPC's that are so lifelike you will think they are lifelike. To accomplish this task, I will be researching ways to digitize humans into a computer program. Who needs Finite State Machines when you can have actual humans?
Ambitious? Yes.
Impossible? Yes.
Confident? Yes?
Monks of the High Lord? Yes.
Probably violating some law against enslaving humans into computer programs? Yes.
Do I have absolutely none of the skills required to create such a feat of game development? Yes.
That's why I need some community members to become my slaves and make the game for me. I will take all the credit and digitize you into some monkey NPC when you finish your job.
What do you think?
[/sarcasm]
About the author
Computer security, digital forensics, and platform jumper enthusiast. shells.myw3b.net/~syreal/
#22
Nathan should already have been banned and his credit card charged for a 10 years subscription.
07/28/2008 (8:52 am)
Where is the Leet Forum Moderator you hired Kevin?Nathan should already have been banned and his credit card charged for a 10 years subscription.
#23
07/28/2008 (10:53 am)
Best thread ever. 
#24
07/28/2008 (1:20 pm)
Best Game Ever! 
#25
07/28/2008 (1:23 pm)
Kevin: make KIRFOIUAH!!!! tees! I want to wear them! 
#26
07/28/2008 (1:41 pm)
Is this game still in development? I was really looking forward to eating some Monk Of the Highest Lard donuts...
#27
07/30/2008 (7:43 am)
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! I can't wait until my new computer gets here. Kevin said we need a T1 or T3 motherboard, and I've ordered a T4. I should be all ready for the beta. Highest Lard Donuts FTW! 
#28
08/01/2008 (4:38 am)
Couldn't find a working download so went and played Ruin Online instead. :P
#29
Your mom's a ruin . . . and online
burn.
08/01/2008 (5:36 am)
FOUL HERESY! BURN THE HERETIC! 14-YR FORUM RAT STYLE!Your mom's a ruin . . . and online
burn.
#30
Stephan, stephan, stephan. Didn't you get the email I sent via proxy? You are the 1337 moderator. But apparently you're just 337.
But you've redeemed yourself because that credit card charge was an excellent idea!
*greed*
08/01/2008 (5:39 am)
Quote:Where is the Leet Forum Moderator you hired Kevin?
Nathan should already have been banned and his credit card charged for a 10 years subscription.
Stephan, stephan, stephan. Didn't you get the email I sent via proxy? You are the 1337 moderator. But apparently you're just 337.
But you've redeemed yourself because that credit card charge was an excellent idea!
*greed*
#31
08/01/2008 (5:39 am)
Aye! I'm with yah Kevin! KIRFOIUAH FTW! Now, seeing that we are on the topic, where the heck is my beta link!
#32
08/01/2008 (11:40 am)
Awesome idea for game i hope u finish like Taylor said KIRFOIUAH FTW!! :)
#33
Can I be multi-classed character High Priest of My Own Doom (level 150), Grand Thief of the Poors (level 225) and Paladin Of The Mighty Light (level 475)?
In that case what would be my attack bonus when using the Dragon's Tooth Saber of Platinum Summoner of Electric Arcs And Death Storms from the Wasteland? +2048? or +4096?
Does the Undeads Are my Friends spell apply when I have feet in the water?
08/01/2008 (11:51 am)
Kevin: what about levelling?Can I be multi-classed character High Priest of My Own Doom (level 150), Grand Thief of the Poors (level 225) and Paladin Of The Mighty Light (level 475)?
In that case what would be my attack bonus when using the Dragon's Tooth Saber of Platinum Summoner of Electric Arcs And Death Storms from the Wasteland? +2048? or +4096?
Does the Undeads Are my Friends spell apply when I have feet in the water?
#34
08/01/2008 (12:11 pm)
Hmm, when I last checked, Kirfoiuah was so l33t it didn't use squared numbers lik 2048 and 4096. Its used numbers based on the value of the square root of negative two. I may be wrong though.
#35
ps -
someone just picked my teeth with his Toothpick of Rotten Gum and stole all my gold teeth!
08/01/2008 (12:18 pm)
I just started with my Blessed Second Heir of Extraordinary Laughter Lord. How come I got Bended Rusty Spoon as my starting weapon? I thought I was supposed to get the Toothpick of The Rotten Gum! I want to raise my short blade skills rather than blunt weapon skills.ps -
someone just picked my teeth with his Toothpick of Rotten Gum and stole all my gold teeth!
#36
08/01/2008 (1:04 pm)
@Taylor & Stephan: It would be 4096. You multiply the base value of the blacksmith's table with the length of the weapon, than plus or minus your UltraPokemonCardOfTimelessDoom factor (for you it would end up being -2896.309376i). After that you multiply it by the square root of negitive two and put $40 into the slot (near the third sector of the weapon). Seriously, if you are going to play a game, learn how to find out attack bonuses, sheesh.
#37
08/01/2008 (1:12 pm)
Dude, thats still not right. You forgot to include the spawnCamp bonus factor, which is plus 3.14159 per unit of spawn camping per second.
#38
08/01/2008 (1:45 pm)
Whoops, silly me! I should have remebered that, since it was the thing that made my +100 Ruber Death Chiken from Hapy Vally strong enough to kill the Megazone Keyboard Frog.
#39
-> Download KIRFOIUAH now! <-
Don't worry man, it was a one time thing, I'm not moving in. ;)
Great job btw, leetest game eva, even if it is still Beta.
08/01/2008 (2:28 pm)
Kevin's mom gave me the download link last night.-> Download KIRFOIUAH now! <-
Don't worry man, it was a one time thing, I'm not moving in. ;)
Great job btw, leetest game eva, even if it is still Beta.
#40
08/01/2008 (2:33 pm)
Why were you with Kevin's mom? I bet you were trying to figure out how he managed to get Quote:6.) NPC's that are so lifelike you will think they are lifelike. To accomplish this task, I will be researching ways to digitize humans into a computer program. Who needs Finite State Machines when you can have actual humans?
Torque 3D Owner Edward