Wife 1.0 Technical Support
by Ajari Wilson · in General Discussion · 10/04/2005 (1:55 pm) · 39 replies
My cousin sent this to me in an e-mail and I thought it was pretty funny so I figured I'd share. I usually wouldn't post stuff like this but I thought it may hit home with some of you here. I'm currently at Girlfriend 7.0 myself.
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
Thanks,
A Troubled User.
______________________________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.
However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
Thanks,
A Troubled User.
______________________________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.
However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support
#2
10/04/2005 (2:38 pm)
I personally prefer the variations of this that mention things like Girlfriend 8.0 running as a shadow process.
#3
10/04/2005 (3:26 pm)
Damn I figured this was pretty old and I was behind the times but I had no idea they made different variations of it. 
#4
10/04/2005 (4:03 pm)
This is why I tell every single guy I know to buy Gamer Wife 1.0. Sure... it means that you won't get to use your computer as often. BUT... it also means that you will get to UPGRADE your computer MUCH more often. If you download the Gamer Wife 1.0b patch, which require installing either Sims or a MMORPG, you get Neglect Guilt Sex 2.0. I heard a rumor that there is an unofficial Gamer Wife 1.0c patch that allows you to run Neglect Guilt Sex 2.0 with more than 2 players, but I don't know anyone who has actually seen it.
#5
but alas, I must settle for less :P
10/04/2005 (4:31 pm)
I myself prefer Smart Sexy Successfull Wife 1.0 with Large Inheritence 5M financial upgrade package. but alas, I must settle for less :P
#6
10/04/2005 (11:30 pm)
I have the Gamer Wife 1.0 program. :)
#8
I need more computer time :(
10/05/2005 (12:06 am)
How do upgrade from Wife 1.0 to Gamer Wife 1.0 ?I need more computer time :(
#9
10/05/2005 (12:14 am)
I have Gamer Dog 1.0, but the game is fetch and I don't get sex.
#10
10/05/2005 (12:21 am)
Actually, Joshua, I hear Gamer Dog 1.0 can do a lot of the things Wife 1.0 can do if you purchase the Peanut Butter accessory pack.
#11
Start with something like mario party, easy for them and not completely boring... My girlfriend went from Non gaming Girlfriend to Hard core gaming Wife.... see any correlation? :P
10/05/2005 (12:47 am)
How do upgrade from Wife 1.0 to Gamer Wife 1.0 ?Start with something like mario party, easy for them and not completely boring... My girlfriend went from Non gaming Girlfriend to Hard core gaming Wife.... see any correlation? :P
#12
10/05/2005 (1:09 am)
Honestly i dont know why anyone would want a gamer wife.. games are like a bad heroin addiction.. you can stop, but you can never quit :P
#13
I have an AttackDog 1.3.2, and peanut butter makes it kill its Kong accessory process, should I be worried?
10/05/2005 (2:08 am)
@MattI have an AttackDog 1.3.2, and peanut butter makes it kill its Kong accessory process, should I be worried?
#14
-Matt
10/05/2005 (1:58 pm)
Isn't this a little objectifying of women? I have to admit that it did make me laugh, but still. -Matt
#15
http://www.mistupid.com/jokes/husband10.htm
10/05/2005 (2:12 pm)
Only if you take it seriously. On a side note, I found the 'Husband 1.0' tech support log here...http://www.mistupid.com/jokes/husband10.htm
#16
10/06/2005 (7:26 am)
What about Passive Wife 1.0? Works well, with Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, and Racing 3.6. However, she runs Animal Lover 3.0, so shes in compatible with Hunting and Fishing 7.5. But she runs with most Games, including/but not limited to, Mario Cart 7.0, MMORPG Pack 8.9, and Racing 2.5. 
#17
Backdoor Mistress v0.5 BETA.
It automatically installed the background applications "Yes Dear" and "I had to work late" and gave me an extra port that I could access that wasn't detected like Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3.
It seems to work but I'm not sure how it will affect my operating system in the long term.
The un-installer tends to leave remnants behind and I'm worried that it will show up in my event log.
I'm afraid I may have to reformat my hard drive.
Maybe I shouldn't have downloaded software that wasn't supported by Wife 1.0 from an unknown site.
I'm considering putting in a trouble ticket to have Wife 1.0 support this new software.
Someone on another site said that Utah residents can upgrade to Wife 2.0 but I'm worried about maintenance costs.
J4ck Tr1pp3r
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OK, I'm soooooo kidding.
But I couldn't help it.
I'm prolly going to go to hell for that one. >:)
10/06/2005 (7:58 am)
After checking a site located by Child 1.0 called WTF H4X, I noticed an interesting item.Backdoor Mistress v0.5 BETA.
It automatically installed the background applications "Yes Dear" and "I had to work late" and gave me an extra port that I could access that wasn't detected like Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3.
It seems to work but I'm not sure how it will affect my operating system in the long term.
The un-installer tends to leave remnants behind and I'm worried that it will show up in my event log.
I'm afraid I may have to reformat my hard drive.
Maybe I shouldn't have downloaded software that wasn't supported by Wife 1.0 from an unknown site.
I'm considering putting in a trouble ticket to have Wife 1.0 support this new software.
Someone on another site said that Utah residents can upgrade to Wife 2.0 but I'm worried about maintenance costs.
J4ck Tr1pp3r
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OK, I'm soooooo kidding.
But I couldn't help it.
I'm prolly going to go to hell for that one. >:)
#18
10/06/2005 (8:04 am)
I am thinking about asking GIRFRIEND 7.0 to upgrade to WIFE 1.0 . Are there no upgrade modules after that ?
#19
Also, the developers are rumored to have added tons of hidden "easter egg" features.
Keep your operating system clean, experiment and see what you find. :)
10/06/2005 (8:10 am)
Wife 1.0 is actually very powerful, it can take a lifetime to learn all the features.Also, the developers are rumored to have added tons of hidden "easter egg" features.
Keep your operating system clean, experiment and see what you find. :)
#20
10/06/2005 (8:15 am)
There are several upgrades, like the already mentioned Gamer Wife 1.0, and of course the unfortunately rather rare Game Developer Wife 1.5... 
Torque Owner Teck Lee Tan