Fear and Loathing in GDC (Post-Mortem)

I'm finally starting to recover from GDC '09 at least enough to blog a bit. Talk about partying like a rockstar. I'm paying for it now, but it was worth every second! I got sick several days before going to the event from spending long nights (blurring into days) chain-smoking in a cold garage with a concrete floor while slaving on Ruin Online, Ecstasy and checking out the latest updates on DSQTweaker. But this was a rare opportunity that I might not get again and I had to make every moment count. I kept trying to remind myself of the concept behind the Japanese tea ceremony, these were unique moments in time that could never be replaced.

Living like death could come at any moment, I did my best to overcome the fears and phobias that come from being an indie deep in the belly of the beast. Don't get me wrong, conventions like this are nothing new to me or the people on my team, we're all run-aways from the industry, but this time there was no per-diems or huge corporate power players to back us up. We were there on our own terms for the first time. But we weren't really alone by any means. The massive Torque logo hanging high above the booths kept me reminded of just how powerful the indie movement was and that GG had our backs. When an indie company succeeds and becomes a powerful corporate force, there is a moment where all the indie edge can be lost. To me this is the true test of indie success. Companies that succeed AND keep their edge are far more powerful than the mainstream. When GG was bought and the website was re-designed, I was a bit nervous. But I feel they have passed their trial by fire with flying colors. They are still showing us little guys so much love, in fact, more than ever. I've noticed over the past few years that they pull allot of people from the community into GG, and I don't think there is anything more indie or raw than that.

Torque3D is more expensive than Torque has been traditionally, but after seeing what I saw, it all makes sense now. GG is fighting the good fight for us indies harder than ever. T3D puts the cutting edge technology in our hands that most of us could never afford or spend the time wrenching on Torque to bring it up to that level. I really want to bring up a dozen or so companies and engines that T3D absolutely C-R-U-S-H-E-S, but for fear of corporate ninja assassins and mouthbreathing forum flamers I won't drop any names. Bah, Ok, I'll be brave and bring up one. Crytek. Since I was at GDC, I had to check out their latest engine. Very "bling bling", but it felt like along the way somebody made some horribly crippling design mistakes. Every so often it seemed to choke and lag under the weight of it's own bling. It made me think of the NWA line "real gangstas can't run fast". My opinion on this should be taken lightly because I'm not well educated on the Crytek engine. But checking out the T3D South Pacific demo was allot like playing Crysis last year. I Never thought I'd be able to get an engine that incredible for $1000. As far as porting goes, it seems to be a radically super charged version of TGEA 1.8.1, but I haven't felt well enough to crack open the source yet. I still think TGEA is one of the best engines out for indies but if you want to compete with the "big boys" I think T3D was designed to do just that. There's a point where indie doesn't mean small. GG has proven that and stands as a great example. So I'd have to say GG is keeping it real, and keeping it indie. They are just ramping things up for the indies that are succeeding. Well that's my take on T3D and if the corporate ninjas come, let them, Jon and I will be waiting with our NASA grade Oni-Yuri Bujinkan blades.

Meeting all the GG staff and all the teams associated with them was incredible. Everyone was extremely friendly and there was an unspoken camaraderie between those who truly represented the indie movement. We had power in numbers and everyone was very relaxed. At night we formed into packs wearing jerseys that sported indie logos and their respective colors. We staggered, wooted and laughed as we marauded the streets of S.F. nearly outnumbering the locals everywhere we went. While the corpies hid in their suites, we mobbed the streets descending upon bar after bar. It must have looked like the Manchester United and Chelsea football gangs banded together for an international football event. Let's just say the corpies in the suits didn't have the power at night as they quickly made wide births around us trying not to get their shoes scuffed. One thing I gotta hand to the corpies, is that when motley crews of indies crashed the party, we were welcomed and treated like budding rockstars. Even the mainstream money machine has to respect "edge".



I'm pretty slim on pictures since Jon and Rex posted most of them, but I've been saving one that sums up allot of what I've been talking about.


After some long stares at our GG shirts, the VP of Business Development for bigWORLD (a $500,000 turnkey MMO solution) approached us outside the conference and asked if we were GG staff. We told him no, but that we were indie devs and GG fanboys. After handing him a BrokeAss Games business card I assumed he'd chuckle and "be late for a meeting" but instead he stood around and chatted with us and was curious about what we were doing as indies. He told us that he had sold 40+ copies at the conference. That's $20mil. In my opinion, that's the extreme opposite of indie. There's nothing wrong with money, it's how you hold yourself once you have it, and this guy posed with BrokeAss Games. So after blinking a few times and chugging some Hateraid I felt a bit better about bigWORLD and the future of the indie industry. I think things are really starting to change and the next ten years are going to show that teams like ID Software and RockStar Games aren't flukes. The tech is out there and being put into the hands of a generation raised on Nintendo and PlayStation. The giants of the industry should be afraid because they won't be able to corral all the cutting edge indies anymore, there's just too many of us and it's getting exponential.

The indies are gaining respect and it was as plain as when Sega failed in the console market. Many of the big companies (Blizzard for example) weren't on the main floor, only the "career pavillion" and ironically, didn't have a damn thing to show that was of any interest. Instead they had row upon row of recruiter booths in the West Hall. It was the head hunters running a giant newb farm. I couldn't help but think of the fields of life support chambers in the Matrix. It was a shoulder to shoulder cluster f*ck as droves of young people tried to "get on the boat" and sell out, possibly saving their indie company or starting a new career in the industry. This is exactly the type of thing that made me leave the industry. I burned my resume/portfolio and took the red pill.


On the other side, there were "free to play" events and schmoozing parties for all the companies trying to climb the ladder without selling out. For some indies this is the bread and butter of making an indie company succeed. Alliances were formed, teams broke and consolidated and lanes of communication were forged about who was doing what and how everyone could help each other. The non-mainstream networking opportunities were incredible! However, I like to keep my team fairly sheltered and also guard certain trade secrets so I was pretty intimidated about taking part in these. But we were wise enough to go give it a shot anyway and, worst case, they were serving booze. We're a bunch of rude boys and don't really mix that well, but that was no problem for the indie schmoozers! They were all up in our grills telling us what they were up to, wondering how we could help them or if they had anything we needed. Allot of these people were really ready to all help each other help for pure trade and sometimes just out of the love of what they do. Honestly this was a part of the indie scene I hadn't expected or calculated. It was very powerful and I wished that I could have networked more. At least I got to watch it done right. Ted Southard educated us by example over and over. I'll explain more about that later. ;)

Our little team doesn't have allot of funding. In fact, these days our budget is decided by our product sales because our pockets have run dry, so going to GDC wasn't an option for us. Also, we have shut down Ruin while we port to TGEA 1.8.1 (which has been going pretty good) so Ruin was in no way ready for us to show. And the culmination of all our character work and Chris Calef's Physics work just barely saw it's first light in his new project, Ecstasy. Basically we weren't ready for a show like this and it was the furthest thing from our minds. When we saw that GG was sending a few community members to GDC, each of us on our own submitted our application. There were a few competitive comments about who was gonna get to go if any of us did. There was even talk about propaganda campaigns against each other. Stuff like "Jon doesn't recycle and thinks Yurts are ugly". Total fun B.S. teasing each other because we figured none of us would be going. So on Jon's birthday when they announced that all of us would be going it really blew our minds. They sent Jon, Rex and myself tickets and since Chris was an associate and former employee he was going too. So they really did send our whole team minus one guy, our head of technology research, Moshe. He's been traveling a bit and wasn't able to attend anyway. He was there in spirit though, allot of the companies and technologies he's been pushing on us were all at the conference. GG gave us an opportunity that was beyond our reach and it really helped boost us as a company.

So we set out to nail some of our goals that we had reserved for the future. We were able to talk to GG about our direction, our new technology and how we could help each other. Some of our directions were already similar so it was just a matter of getting to talk with them. The show was really busy but they found a moment and gave us a shot to run our spiel. We were also able to set a meeting with an un-named company (for now) that we had been eyeballing for some time. We explained our technology and our new project to them. The fruit of that was a mutual agreement to work together on a trial basis to finish our envisioned goal. So basically we got the support and the go aheads to finish our dream project. None of this would have happened this fast if we hadn't been at the show. So basically, GG gave this little indie team the shot in the arm it needed. Talk about love! I could go on and on about how epic it was that they gave us this opportunity but I think it's pretty clear. Hopefully it will pay off in the form of getting more of our tech out to the community faster. We're already starting to get things moving again.

On the same note, we got some more backup from GreenEar. Not only did we catch their wicked Torque only sale (1800 slots!!!) but we were able to talk to them about their tech and future relations. They were more than helpful and told us we could contact them anytime about almost anything and they'd be happy to help. We also found out their new SDK is out and that 3D spatial chat is nearing completion. These people were fun as hell and geeks to boot. Turns out they were originally a communications company that licensed the Skype codec so if I were gonna trust somebody to handle the VOIP for my game (I'm a wifi admin and that kinda trust doesn't come lightly) it's them. They have shown the Torque community tons of love with discounts, sales and support too so they are definitely supporting the indies.

I'm running out of steam and I have to get back to working, but the last thing I wanted to cover was some of the people we met. It was kind of a fateful show for us. I'm going to try and be very careful about this because nobody signed NDAs, I don't know some of them real well and they were all VERY cool.

While we were waiting in line to get our badges I turned around and low and behold, it was Josiah Piscotta from Chronic Logic. Most people would know him from Pontifex Bridge Builder and Gish. This was pretty amazing because he is from my home town Willits California and has been a friend since we were little kids. In fact, we go so far back that he taught me DIR *.* /w. So both being programmers we new the probability of this happening to be pretty slim. He's still pushing out titles and one of them is actually Torque based.
Alex Austin, another one of the mad hax coders behind Pontifex Bridge Builder and Gish, currently running Cryptic Sea, was there. Alex is also from my home town. I spent some time spying on these former Willits devs to see what may be ahead for our own team. These guys were all business and on the phone most of the time. Something to make note of for the future. If us BrokeAss Games guys evolve much further, I'll have to ask them for some advice about surviving as an indie.

Speaking of surviving as an indie, if the game industry fell on it's ass, Ted Southard would still be there networking and schmoozing and plotting on his next evil plan. I mean this in the best of all ways, and I really like the guy, so I'll risk it... This guy has the tenacity of an indie-industry cockroach. You can't take him out, I mean nothing can stop this guy. He gets in all the cracks. Everywhere you look he's there, your food, your email, your socks, everywhere. You'll always see him out of the corner of your eye but when you try to look directly at him, poof like a ninja he's gone, schmoozing with one more heavy weight outfit or budding indie company. This guy is the champion of networking and schmoozing. He was pwning every social networking event out there, and doing it well. This guy probably went home with the equivalent of the GDC rolodex! Every event that I probably won't see, he'll be there, or at least a ton of people who are there will already have met him. When I first saw his NPC project I didn't take allot of notice because I had been working on one of my own for Ruin Online and thought mine was the shizz (common programmer mistake). But what he's done kept me up at night a bit. So as he gave demo after demo I started really paying attention. The more I thought about it, the more I realized my NPCs were just dynamic shell NPCs, not A.I. really. What he's done is incredible, the NPCs learn, react and are very dynamic. After having fantasies about merging his NPC code with my own I suggested that he put it into a pack for the rest of us. Then he saw another NPC middleware that wasn't much more advanced than Dr. Sbaitso or Liza. I'm really hoping through networking and schmoozing he realized allot of people could use what he's got. It's a great framework.

Paul Dana, wow, meeting this guy was a moment in itself. I've been reading and using his neatly commented code for a few years now. This guy gave us the Plastic Tweaker, Plastic Gems, tons of resources, and my favorite of all, TURRETS!!1 This guy was a cool cat, I mean smooth. Super educated, edgy and relaxed all at the same time. To me he's the kind of guy who would talk to you about his favorite book (he had a Kindle with him at all times) while defusing a nuclear warhead. And he's been doing it so long, you wouldn't even notice it was a nuke in the first place. I heard he was working on a zombie game at one time. I'd love to see a zombie game pack, ya know, maybe a Left4Dead-like add-on for Torque? This guy is always working on something heavy so the best I can do is hope. If it comes out as a game, I'll definitely be checking it out. I love all zombie games! Honestly it never gets old for me. Lately he's been putting his skills to use in educational simulations. To me this is a big deal. Allot of people imagine that in the future there will be software that allows us to "know Kung-Fu" but not allot of people are trying to develop it. People like Paul are making this a better world and somehow having fun at the same time.

Sick Head Games, these guys brought us the Torque Pipeline plug-in for Cartography Shop, TORSION and have been a mind blowing force on Torque3D. These guys have mad skills!!! I spent allot of time hanging out with these guys and it was worth every second. IMO these guys are the kind of indies that come out of nowhere and change the industry. They have what it takes, pure talent, pure edge and they hit their marks. When I left the industry this is what I envisioned as ideal. These guys are rockstars. The skillset was so deep and well rounded that every fringe, complicated or bleeding edge subject/question I brought up, one of these guys knew all about it.

I respect these guys so much, and what they are doing, I don't want to talk about them too much. It's kind of like partying with Trent Reznor at the Playboy mansion, you don't wanna talk about it much in the hopes you get to do it again. But believe me, they are changing Torque forever and maybe have a hand at shaping the indie industry. Hell, Torsion massively changed the way I develop, so I was already feeling the ripples they're making.

The people from Buccaneer, Box Macabre and Sushi To Go were so busy doing demos and self promotion that I didn't get to really meet them. These guys were showing what it is to be a successful Torque indie with titles that sell. So rather than bothering them, I sat back and watched. The best thing I can say about these guys is that they are pulling it off and someday I hope I'm right there next to them doing demo after demo wishing I had a moment to get something to eat. Damn, the least I could have done was get somebody a sandwich. Sorry guys, my bad.

And finally, the GG staff. These guys were so busy. I mean working GDC this year was not an easy job. The GG booth was packed nearly the whole time! It was way beyond my expectations. I didn't get to meet everyone because of their workloads and some GG staff were there to do more than man the GDC booth. It was one of the most important conferences for our industry. But every so often they did stop and say hi and ask if we were having a good time. Eventually we got to pull a few of them away for serious talks and an occasional lunch. There are so many names that for fear of missing anybody I'm just gonna mention them as a whole. And I hope this long write-up is tribute to them enough.

So before I get back to work I'd just like encourage indie devs to go to the conferences and shows if and when you can. Seriously, if you have a budget, GO! If you don't, think of ways you can make it worth it. If you have to skip some add-on pack or application purchases to go to just one of these, plan it well. You may meet the author(s) of a pack(s) you want to buy, land a contract, recruit new team members or other things that can make it money well spent. In the next few days we'll be sending out a few of our products to people we met there. Having other devs check out, use, modify and test your products is priceless but it can be hard to find the right people. At these events you'll meet them and you'll know who's help you want.
Well, it's been unreal but now I'm back to the reality of being a BrokeAss indie developer. But my future is allot brighter and I'm sporting an Instant Action shirt with a cup of soup logo that will remind me that I may not be eating instant noodles forever. Thanks to everyone who made this happen and made it epic!

Ari


First video of BrokeAss Games team ever recorded, GDC Day 2, Community Interviews