Farewell, Ashtara
by Dave Young · 11/14/2009 (12:46 am) · 23 comments
Tonight while children were playing I slid into my desk chair to catch up on emails and such. I keep the mydreamrpg IRC running in one monitor, always, and something caught my eye.
Ashtara's husband Brad had logged into the IRC to let us know that she passed away on 10/23/2009 in her sleep. Though we knew her as Ash/Ashtara/Ashley Kelley, her real name is Gerri Kelley.
I blinked and then went downstairs to my happy family while it sunk in like a ton of bricks. I cried then.
We still run the mydreamrpg IRC because we're a small tight-knit group of friends left over from the MMOKIT days. We fight like cats and dogs sometimes and we use lots of different engines now, but the friendship part is real. Up until about a month ago, Ash had been on IRC pretty much every day for the last several years. I knew she has been busy with her new job lately, so didn't think much of it. So it makes sense that Brad would remember to let us know there, and I'm grateful he did.
Ash was a dear friend to all of us, and she is missed greatly. She has been my partner in crime in various Indie ventures for a few years now.
She's a gal who got her knuckles bloody battling things like Milkshape and 3D World Studio and the art pipeline to claw out some knowledge of how to make 3D art for her dream game. She shared her knowledge with newbs all the time, and did several video tutorials. Ash often worked with me on contract projects, as she has spectacular technical modelling knowledge. We could always be honest with each other no matter how rough the news, and praise was shared freely.
She was kind of like having a guild mate.. but in real life. I suppose the proper term is... friend. We had lots of adventures together in the Indie game dev world. We did the MMOKIT thing and she had great dreams of making Zarina, her own vision for an MMORPG. She churned out buildings and characters, learning each thing she needed to know along the way. On the PR side of things, I often was afraid of what she would post because I used to be a maniac for grammar, message, etc., but she had a natural charm and just spoke her mind freely and it always worked out. She took on the Combat Starter Kit project as a labor of love, and though she was heartbroken about some of the response to it, she persevered. Ash had dreams like the rest of us and worked every day towards them. She never quit. She didn't have the coding or art skills that some do, but she had an unbelievable commitment level and a drive that is legendary. It was pure pain for her to get to the finish line with Combat Starter Kit but she did it. Even after it didn't get received like she hoped, she continued on and put the pieces together so she could finally have a little game of her own out there: Rumors of War. She worked her butt off on it. Off the gaming scene, she was there for her friends and family when they needed her most, and that was quite often. Ash's was not a life of charm and glamour but you wouldn't know it talking to her. She would lift you up and slap you around and you'd be able to focus again.
I for one will miss her terribly. She was a stalwart friend and stood in the breach time and time again as we faced difficulties and adversity. Her grace and poise during those storms has always served as an example to me as we tried to always look for the light at the end of the tunnel. Ash finally found it!
I know where she is now and I'm very grateful for it. I also know I'll see her there someday too, and that fills my heart with joy and peace.
"Dance long on the turrets of the castles in Zarina, Ashtara. Listen to the gentle flapping of the pennants in the warn winds. Look out over the green lands and dream."
Farewell, Ashtara
Ashtara's husband Brad had logged into the IRC to let us know that she passed away on 10/23/2009 in her sleep. Though we knew her as Ash/Ashtara/Ashley Kelley, her real name is Gerri Kelley.
I blinked and then went downstairs to my happy family while it sunk in like a ton of bricks. I cried then.
We still run the mydreamrpg IRC because we're a small tight-knit group of friends left over from the MMOKIT days. We fight like cats and dogs sometimes and we use lots of different engines now, but the friendship part is real. Up until about a month ago, Ash had been on IRC pretty much every day for the last several years. I knew she has been busy with her new job lately, so didn't think much of it. So it makes sense that Brad would remember to let us know there, and I'm grateful he did.
Ash was a dear friend to all of us, and she is missed greatly. She has been my partner in crime in various Indie ventures for a few years now.
She's a gal who got her knuckles bloody battling things like Milkshape and 3D World Studio and the art pipeline to claw out some knowledge of how to make 3D art for her dream game. She shared her knowledge with newbs all the time, and did several video tutorials. Ash often worked with me on contract projects, as she has spectacular technical modelling knowledge. We could always be honest with each other no matter how rough the news, and praise was shared freely.
She was kind of like having a guild mate.. but in real life. I suppose the proper term is... friend. We had lots of adventures together in the Indie game dev world. We did the MMOKIT thing and she had great dreams of making Zarina, her own vision for an MMORPG. She churned out buildings and characters, learning each thing she needed to know along the way. On the PR side of things, I often was afraid of what she would post because I used to be a maniac for grammar, message, etc., but she had a natural charm and just spoke her mind freely and it always worked out. She took on the Combat Starter Kit project as a labor of love, and though she was heartbroken about some of the response to it, she persevered. Ash had dreams like the rest of us and worked every day towards them. She never quit. She didn't have the coding or art skills that some do, but she had an unbelievable commitment level and a drive that is legendary. It was pure pain for her to get to the finish line with Combat Starter Kit but she did it. Even after it didn't get received like she hoped, she continued on and put the pieces together so she could finally have a little game of her own out there: Rumors of War. She worked her butt off on it. Off the gaming scene, she was there for her friends and family when they needed her most, and that was quite often. Ash's was not a life of charm and glamour but you wouldn't know it talking to her. She would lift you up and slap you around and you'd be able to focus again.
I for one will miss her terribly. She was a stalwart friend and stood in the breach time and time again as we faced difficulties and adversity. Her grace and poise during those storms has always served as an example to me as we tried to always look for the light at the end of the tunnel. Ash finally found it!
I know where she is now and I'm very grateful for it. I also know I'll see her there someday too, and that fills my heart with joy and peace.
"Dance long on the turrets of the castles in Zarina, Ashtara. Listen to the gentle flapping of the pennants in the warn winds. Look out over the green lands and dream."
Farewell, Ashtara
About the author
#22
To say she'll be missed by many is an understatement.
I guess all I can add is that it was a privilege to have known her the years that I did, and I'm glad I had the opportunity to work with her on the various projects we were involved in. She was a pretty amazing human being.
11/15/2009 (7:02 pm)
I'm still stunned, reading this. Although I haven't been hanging in the mydream irc in quite a while, I logged "way too many" hours in there over the years, and Ash was a fixture of the community.To say she'll be missed by many is an understatement.
I guess all I can add is that it was a privilege to have known her the years that I did, and I'm glad I had the opportunity to work with her on the various projects we were involved in. She was a pretty amazing human being.
#23
I know that there is not much you can say in times like this to ease the pain of those left behind, but nonetheless, as many others have expressed here, the BSS crew offer our sincerest condolences to family, friends, and acquaintances alike. That's just the kind of person she was... she made even the smallest acquaintance feel like a friend. She seemed to always have time for anyone in need, whether it be advice, information, or just someone to bounce ideas around with. I can only imagine what those who knew her well are feeling if those of us who only knew her on occasion can feel so effected by this.
Dominus Vobiscum Ash, you will be missed.
11/20/2009 (11:26 am)
Wow, I just now saw this post and had to read it twice to make sure I was really reading this. I did not know Ash as closely as many here, but I had several conversations with her on the MyDreamRPG IRC. She was one of those people that you just expected to always be around.I know that there is not much you can say in times like this to ease the pain of those left behind, but nonetheless, as many others have expressed here, the BSS crew offer our sincerest condolences to family, friends, and acquaintances alike. That's just the kind of person she was... she made even the smallest acquaintance feel like a friend. She seemed to always have time for anyone in need, whether it be advice, information, or just someone to bounce ideas around with. I can only imagine what those who knew her well are feeling if those of us who only knew her on occasion can feel so effected by this.
Dominus Vobiscum Ash, you will be missed.
#24
12/10/2010 (4:39 am)
I am sorry it took so long for me to post. I knew ash back when we were working on mmokit with dreamer. I lost me wife right before ash died last year and I just started back on my game. I will miss her and I wonder if she ever finished her horse pack :). I will build a town in my game and name it after you ash. I miss you. 
Torque 3D Owner Arcanor
I don't know if Brad or the rest of the family watch here, but my deepest condolences go out to you after your sudden tragic loss. This is a tough one. :(
Gerri can never be replaced, but she will always live on in our hearts and memories. Through those memories, I'm quite certain that Gerri will continue to inspire many of us to press on in pursuing our dream games, just like she would.