SWORDS OF KIRFOIUAH!!!!111!one oneoneone oen
by Kevin James · in General Discussion · 03/22/2008 (6:29 am) · 53 replies
[sarcasm]
Okay guys. I've made 4 or 5 small games, and now I'm ready to make the MMORPG to defeat WOW and stick it to the man! It shall be called:
SWORDS OF KIRFOIUAH Pronouced: KIR-O-IUAH
It shall feature:
1.) A world 3 times larger than Morrowind and Diablo 2 combined. It will actually be round. Like the earth. I think.
2.) Twitched based combat totally impossible to do over the internet.
3.) 70+ classes to choose from including: Monk of the High Lord, Monk of the Slightly Lower Lord, Monk of some Guy, and Rogue.
4.) 300,000 kajillion different items to find, discover, and generally otherwise put into your inventory. Examples include: potion of healing, potion of mana and potion of the High Lord.
5.) 999,999 trahillion different kinds of monsters to kill, bash, maim, or generally make them feel like dying.
6.) NPC's that are so lifelike you will think they are lifelike. To accomplish this task, I will be researching ways to digitize humans into a computer program. Who needs Finite State Machines when you can have actual humans?
Ambitious? Yes.
Impossible? Yes.
Confident? Yes?
Monks of the High Lord? Yes.
Probably violating some law against enslaving humans into computer programs? Yes.
Do I have absolutely none of the skills required to create such a feat of game development? Yes.
That's why I need some community members to become my slaves and make the game for me. I will take all the credit and digitize you into some monkey NPC when you finish your job.
What do you think?
[/sarcasm]
Okay guys. I've made 4 or 5 small games, and now I'm ready to make the MMORPG to defeat WOW and stick it to the man! It shall be called:
SWORDS OF KIRFOIUAH Pronouced: KIR-O-IUAH
It shall feature:
1.) A world 3 times larger than Morrowind and Diablo 2 combined. It will actually be round. Like the earth. I think.
2.) Twitched based combat totally impossible to do over the internet.
3.) 70+ classes to choose from including: Monk of the High Lord, Monk of the Slightly Lower Lord, Monk of some Guy, and Rogue.
4.) 300,000 kajillion different items to find, discover, and generally otherwise put into your inventory. Examples include: potion of healing, potion of mana and potion of the High Lord.
5.) 999,999 trahillion different kinds of monsters to kill, bash, maim, or generally make them feel like dying.
6.) NPC's that are so lifelike you will think they are lifelike. To accomplish this task, I will be researching ways to digitize humans into a computer program. Who needs Finite State Machines when you can have actual humans?
Ambitious? Yes.
Impossible? Yes.
Confident? Yes?
Monks of the High Lord? Yes.
Probably violating some law against enslaving humans into computer programs? Yes.
Do I have absolutely none of the skills required to create such a feat of game development? Yes.
That's why I need some community members to become my slaves and make the game for me. I will take all the credit and digitize you into some monkey NPC when you finish your job.
What do you think?
[/sarcasm]
About the author
Computer security, digital forensics, and platform jumper enthusiast. shells.myw3b.net/~syreal/
#42
08/01/2008 (3:35 pm)
You can find one of those in the Caves of Upright Flagposts (near Hapy Vally). Just pick it up and 3d-print it!
#43
Pray two players never meet riding them, for they will fight like Beta fish for supremacy! But since neither can lose they will only wreak destruction, and on such a scale it will destroy even the real world!
08/01/2008 (9:05 pm)
You've created a virtual Chuck Norris that ISN'T a unique??? YOU FOOL, you've doomed us all!Pray two players never meet riding them, for they will fight like Beta fish for supremacy! But since neither can lose they will only wreak destruction, and on such a scale it will destroy even the real world!
#44
08/01/2008 (10:55 pm)
I'm sorry to say, but Andrew is correct. There is only one thing to do now. Nathan must lure all the Chuck Norris mounts into the endless pit and sacrfice himself to the Monk of Partially But Not Quite Totally High Lord. 
#45
Chuck Norris has already been digitized into the game's chip(s), the servers will explode momentarily.
[edit]
Unless we can digitize Batman and Clint Eastwood. They can't hope to kill Chuck, but hopefully they can corral him into one of the server's pci cards, then we can quickly unplug it and shoot it into space.
08/01/2008 (11:23 pm)
Its too late for that.Chuck Norris has already been digitized into the game's chip(s), the servers will explode momentarily.
[edit]
Unless we can digitize Batman and Clint Eastwood. They can't hope to kill Chuck, but hopefully they can corral him into one of the server's pci cards, then we can quickly unplug it and shoot it into space.
#46
08/01/2008 (11:25 pm)
Oh well, at least we will get to see some Fire Works of the Higher Server when it blows up.
#47
KIRFOIUAH rules!
08/01/2008 (11:57 pm)
8-PThe escape sequence has been activated. The Chuck Norris Is Weak sub-routine has been initiated. He is now dressed with non stretch jeans a pink with large white flowers shirt. Not to mention underwears with little cute hearts. Ashamed he fails his saving throw and disappear.
KIRFOIUAH rules!
#48
Dunno if it's true or not.
01/28/2009 (6:51 am)
I've heard rumors.. Some ppl say that Chuck has been lurking around the Citadel of Iron Beard.Dunno if it's true or not.
#49
01/29/2009 (12:45 am)
I wonder if the dev team is planning on switching to T3D for this game... :P 
#50
01/29/2009 (5:36 am)
Actually Kevin and the team are excited with our propietiary T4D engine....
#51
01/30/2009 (2:13 am)
Woah, how unexpected!
#52
I'll go finish my bomb-shelter.
01/30/2009 (5:11 am)
I don't think switching to 4D would be a wise idea... Chuck Norris clone could use his roundhouse kick to make a portal from the 4th dimension to our world and that would eventually lead into a epic battle between the real Chuck Norris and his clone.I'll go finish my bomb-shelter.
#53
Successfully ported KIRFOIUAH from XBox 900 to Windows XP Command Prompt. A version made for lesser computers will be made available in less than 20 years. Our goals are indeed loftier than those of the Duke Nukem Forever devs (those cretins.)
Torque 4D is actually Torque 3D. The fourth dimension is time, and Garage Games just assumed that its patrons would know that instinctively. No, we are using Torque 5D, the fifth dimension being [Warning, Automatic GG Notification of Unauthorized Usage of 5th Dimension Characters].
02/08/2009 (2:03 pm)
Development Log; Stardate 12093 ALK Gamma Cappa Phi:Successfully ported KIRFOIUAH from XBox 900 to Windows XP Command Prompt. A version made for lesser computers will be made available in less than 20 years. Our goals are indeed loftier than those of the Duke Nukem Forever devs (those cretins.)
Torque 4D is actually Torque 3D. The fourth dimension is time, and Garage Games just assumed that its patrons would know that instinctively. No, we are using Torque 5D, the fifth dimension being [Warning, Automatic GG Notification of Unauthorized Usage of 5th Dimension Characters].
Torque 3D Owner Max
Anyone got a Chuck Norris mount I could buy?