Depression
by Badguy · in General Discussion · 10/01/2003 (9:18 am) · 18 replies
Well here we go..
Most people look at me funny when I say this...
but here it goes.
Im just now starting to put together what this work stuff is about.
man it sucks, working for a living sucks.
week in week out, same old same old ..
busting ass for some other mofo..
who dont even appreciate all the hard work and that.
it's boring... and im not making much money either.
so this is it.. this is life we are sheeple this is what we do..
we wake up and we go to work, living the world we choose.
but it's all the same it dont matter ..
you just wake up and goto work come home do your thing,
so the next day comes you can wake up and go to work again.
then comes a weekend.. where you get a couple days (if your lucky)
then those days fly by faster than Any other's.
and it's just another week at work Again, Over and Over and Over..
when I was a kid I never really understood this.
and now that im an adult it is just hitting me now.
so this is life, man is it DULL
life was good when All I had to do was wake up and go do my Own thing, write My Own code, play video games, do whatever.
now im stuck in the daily grind of life
Most people look at me funny when I say this...
but here it goes.
Im just now starting to put together what this work stuff is about.
man it sucks, working for a living sucks.
week in week out, same old same old ..
busting ass for some other mofo..
who dont even appreciate all the hard work and that.
it's boring... and im not making much money either.
so this is it.. this is life we are sheeple this is what we do..
we wake up and we go to work, living the world we choose.
but it's all the same it dont matter ..
you just wake up and goto work come home do your thing,
so the next day comes you can wake up and go to work again.
then comes a weekend.. where you get a couple days (if your lucky)
then those days fly by faster than Any other's.
and it's just another week at work Again, Over and Over and Over..
when I was a kid I never really understood this.
and now that im an adult it is just hitting me now.
so this is life, man is it DULL
life was good when All I had to do was wake up and go do my Own thing, write My Own code, play video games, do whatever.
now im stuck in the daily grind of life
About the author
#2
it is possible to downsize your life to the point where you don't have to work all the time. Or you can find some work that you really love doing and then it isn't so much of a drag. Just add up all your $ outflow and see where you can trim down, then switch to 3/4 time or half time or whatever. Don't let the daily grind destroy your quest for happiness and fulfillment.
- Mark
10/01/2003 (9:47 am)
Ya know...it is possible to downsize your life to the point where you don't have to work all the time. Or you can find some work that you really love doing and then it isn't so much of a drag. Just add up all your $ outflow and see where you can trim down, then switch to 3/4 time or half time or whatever. Don't let the daily grind destroy your quest for happiness and fulfillment.
- Mark
#3
1. Same here.
2. Marks very right.
3. Find the notes from Jeff's presentation from last years IGC.
4. Read the articles on Dexterity.com
5. You need to work on your happiness first then the rest just falls into place.
6. You're only ever stuck if you want to be. Unless you've trod in some industrial strength glue.
10/01/2003 (11:01 am)
Well since GG just ate my post i'd spent an hour writing here's the summary (and you're probably better off because of it).1. Same here.
2. Marks very right.
3. Find the notes from Jeff's presentation from last years IGC.
4. Read the articles on Dexterity.com
5. You need to work on your happiness first then the rest just falls into place.
6. You're only ever stuck if you want to be. Unless you've trod in some industrial strength glue.
#4
but as a note,
I got a job programming games, cause that is what I really enjoy doing.
but i'ts not the same. i'm not making My Games..
i'm not making games that Any of Us would play :)
.. im making games for gamblers. (which I never gamble)
which is cool for me, but that is not the problem.
the Problem is working Period.
the day in day out mundane stuff.
add in there that some dude is gonna get Rich, and im getting some little puny cheque :)
*whine, snivvle*
its ok im gonna get a raise soon, maybe that is what all these feeling's are about.. Money.
I just got paid the other day.
Haven't Cracked into the paycheque yet.
but it dont matter, the wife is on vacation she will take care of that when she gets back.
To top it off..
the product is mostly done now, and im working on side stuff..
so Im not working with graphics :( im working in WinAPI
... maybe That is why im so depressed?
I've tried hard to convert them to Linux, but no play yet.
10/01/2003 (12:26 pm)
Well, Thanks for the Kind words guys..but as a note,
I got a job programming games, cause that is what I really enjoy doing.
but i'ts not the same. i'm not making My Games..
i'm not making games that Any of Us would play :)
.. im making games for gamblers. (which I never gamble)
which is cool for me, but that is not the problem.
the Problem is working Period.
the day in day out mundane stuff.
add in there that some dude is gonna get Rich, and im getting some little puny cheque :)
*whine, snivvle*
its ok im gonna get a raise soon, maybe that is what all these feeling's are about.. Money.
I just got paid the other day.
Haven't Cracked into the paycheque yet.
but it dont matter, the wife is on vacation she will take care of that when she gets back.
To top it off..
the product is mostly done now, and im working on side stuff..
so Im not working with graphics :( im working in WinAPI
... maybe That is why im so depressed?
I've tried hard to convert them to Linux, but no play yet.
#5
10/01/2003 (12:37 pm)
WinAPI is enough to drive anyone to the brink of insanity. Kudos to you :) 
#6
So my advice is take a vacation & try to find something that gives you a reason to wake up in the morning and make time for that thing.(ie. a hobby that you don't do anymore)
10/02/2003 (5:20 am)
Badguy you need a vacation. I know because I do to. I'm off next week. My job sucks. It is the same BS everyday. Working with Torque is the only thing that keeps me sane.So my advice is take a vacation & try to find something that gives you a reason to wake up in the morning and make time for that thing.(ie. a hobby that you don't do anymore)
#7
But to be honest, most of life is a chore, its how you approach the happiness thing that really defines us.
I think I agree with Mark, find what makes you happy and do more of it.
But it sounds like your in a bad position for you there Badguy, so my advice would be that sooner or later, more opportunity comes along, so if it feels bad for now, likelyhood is it wont stay that way.
Ive had a lot of bad times as a worker bee, for sure, and Ive also had some great times.
Life is a rollercoaster, you just gotta ride it (I cant believe that qoute!).
Phil.
10/02/2003 (5:59 am)
Hehehe.. well, having just given up a full-time game dev I really enjoyed to take a part-time gig and do my own stuff. I can see the compelling reasons.But to be honest, most of life is a chore, its how you approach the happiness thing that really defines us.
I think I agree with Mark, find what makes you happy and do more of it.
But it sounds like your in a bad position for you there Badguy, so my advice would be that sooner or later, more opportunity comes along, so if it feels bad for now, likelyhood is it wont stay that way.
Ive had a lot of bad times as a worker bee, for sure, and Ive also had some great times.
Life is a rollercoaster, you just gotta ride it (I cant believe that qoute!).
Phil.
#8
10/02/2003 (7:06 am)
Oh please God tell me that quote isn't from where I think it is...
#9
Look at it this way. I went to college for 4 years and accumulated something like $36,000 in debt (though it's down to $26,000 something now). I work 2 $7/hour jobs, and it will take me approximately another 2 years to pay off the debts (it's already been a little more than 1 year, though I only had 1 job for a while).
I really wish I could find a programming job, but it might be easier once Ecoheroes is finished (it's basically done now, but I still need a little art - and there is one important feature I would like to add). At least then I'll have something to show them.
Then again, I know I'm not going to find a programming job in the area, and I don't really want to move. And I agree that it's better to program the games you want to program, rather than what you're told to. I'd be perfectly happy just being able to program alot of stuff that I want to program and feed myself. So I have basically what I want right now.
Anyways, what I'm saying is that your life isn't so bad. But, then again, neither is mine. So, since my life isn't so bad, and yours is arguably better, yours must be pretty good.
10/02/2003 (11:06 am)
BadGuy:Look at it this way. I went to college for 4 years and accumulated something like $36,000 in debt (though it's down to $26,000 something now). I work 2 $7/hour jobs, and it will take me approximately another 2 years to pay off the debts (it's already been a little more than 1 year, though I only had 1 job for a while).
I really wish I could find a programming job, but it might be easier once Ecoheroes is finished (it's basically done now, but I still need a little art - and there is one important feature I would like to add). At least then I'll have something to show them.
Then again, I know I'm not going to find a programming job in the area, and I don't really want to move. And I agree that it's better to program the games you want to program, rather than what you're told to. I'd be perfectly happy just being able to program alot of stuff that I want to program and feed myself. So I have basically what I want right now.
Anyways, what I'm saying is that your life isn't so bad. But, then again, neither is mine. So, since my life isn't so bad, and yours is arguably better, yours must be pretty good.
#10
And maybe I'll be hired to replace you at your crappy job that you don't like (though I don't know if my skillset matches what they require).
Don't quit and start your own company though. If you want to program the games you want to do, start out doing it on your own time. Of course, you're probably doing that already, since you posted at GG.
10/02/2003 (11:09 am)
Oh, and if you find a better job, take it. You'll probably be happier.And maybe I'll be hired to replace you at your crappy job that you don't like (though I don't know if my skillset matches what they require).
Don't quit and start your own company though. If you want to program the games you want to do, start out doing it on your own time. Of course, you're probably doing that already, since you posted at GG.
#11
10/02/2003 (11:38 am)
I feel your pain.....at least your not stuck in Mississippi like me(i'm checking out the glue on my shoes). oh well, im tryin to convince myself that one day it'll be better...its just frustrating as hell waiting.
#12
I didnt enjoy coding work especially, but first off in your downtime work on something of your own. Secondly, if you job gets boooring and tedious try to gain some new skills, perhaps not on the strictly coding side (project management, design patterns, testing methodolgy, etc). What I'm saying is that its up to you to keep it new and somewhat interesting. Because of my intrest in the non-coding side of software development at my old job I was in line for management (until the co went tits up), which I found to be more challenging than coding. Also, find aspects of work that make you laugh (dumbasses, weird people). Oh yeah, and take a vacation. Oh, and internet radio helps mucho too to make the day fly.
And besides, you know damn well that work is not your life. I know, it consumes much time, but you know, you have your own deal. And frankly there are a shitload of people who do NOTHING but work and watch tv and are lonely. People who are interested and motivated already have an advantage as they know enough and are passionate enough to have things make them happy and fulfiled. I know it sucks when you dont have enough time to do what you love, but that doesnt mean you have to be miserable.
peace out and dont fret man,
-s
10/02/2003 (12:02 pm)
Ah Badguy....I didnt enjoy coding work especially, but first off in your downtime work on something of your own. Secondly, if you job gets boooring and tedious try to gain some new skills, perhaps not on the strictly coding side (project management, design patterns, testing methodolgy, etc). What I'm saying is that its up to you to keep it new and somewhat interesting. Because of my intrest in the non-coding side of software development at my old job I was in line for management (until the co went tits up), which I found to be more challenging than coding. Also, find aspects of work that make you laugh (dumbasses, weird people). Oh yeah, and take a vacation. Oh, and internet radio helps mucho too to make the day fly.
And besides, you know damn well that work is not your life. I know, it consumes much time, but you know, you have your own deal. And frankly there are a shitload of people who do NOTHING but work and watch tv and are lonely. People who are interested and motivated already have an advantage as they know enough and are passionate enough to have things make them happy and fulfiled. I know it sucks when you dont have enough time to do what you love, but that doesnt mean you have to be miserable.
peace out and dont fret man,
-s
#13
its not that the job is shitty its a good job I think, it's just that the mundane life stuff day in day out, having to work for some other guy getting richer while I have to struggle to pay life..
I know these are the facts of life .. im just facing up to em now...
:)
the job is good I like my position and the company is pretty good too ..
I decided to take today and tomorrow off and im at home now!!
WOOT!
so now I've got a super long weekend to do some stuff for Me.
(heh and dooyon)
Thanks for the tips guys...
I feel better already knowing im not alone in this mess.
10/02/2003 (12:44 pm)
Hey, thanks everyone :)its not that the job is shitty its a good job I think, it's just that the mundane life stuff day in day out, having to work for some other guy getting richer while I have to struggle to pay life..
I know these are the facts of life .. im just facing up to em now...
:)
the job is good I like my position and the company is pretty good too ..
I decided to take today and tomorrow off and im at home now!!
WOOT!
so now I've got a super long weekend to do some stuff for Me.
(heh and dooyon)
Thanks for the tips guys...
I feel better already knowing im not alone in this mess.
#14
Post a story, it's sorta therapeutic.
10/02/2003 (2:44 pm)
Well, at least you don't have a boss like I had at my last 8-5. He's the primary topic of my personal website. I'm just glad I'm not working there anymore. Making money for him was painful enough, but adding on his insaine nature was too much. Anyways, the site has basically turned into a "Bitch about your work" place for me and my friends. Post a story, it's sorta therapeutic.
#15
i work for 20 dollar/hour in a big software house in italy...
when is Tax time, i give 54% of my earning to the Country....
This is something that kill all of your ambitions.
and here in italy there is no way to be paid doing a game programmer...
only db programmer and web application programmer...
10/03/2003 (5:12 am)
Your are sad because you don't work in italy...i work for 20 dollar/hour in a big software house in italy...
when is Tax time, i give 54% of my earning to the Country....
This is something that kill all of your ambitions.
and here in italy there is no way to be paid doing a game programmer...
only db programmer and web application programmer...
#16
Work really does suck. I'm still a university student, but I'm working a few days of the week at the local licker vendor (Systembolaget) to increase my income. This summer, during the Soccer World Cup, I also worked for TV4, Sweden's largest broadcasting network, and managed to do 322 hours in a month and a few days. Insane. Sure, the pay is good, but I am fairly confident I was not designed to work - if the work isn't actually my own choice. I can easily spend 15 hours a day coding on my own projects....
Maybe it isn't work per say, but working for someone else on stuff that doesn't really interest you? Oh, and to continue the rant: have you ever woke up in the morning and realised you've dreamt you were working. That's a double shift if I ever saw one. Raaaaant!
Now let this thread die again for another three years :)
07/28/2006 (4:49 am)
So what the thread's been dead for almost three years, I don't care, it still applies!Work really does suck. I'm still a university student, but I'm working a few days of the week at the local licker vendor (Systembolaget) to increase my income. This summer, during the Soccer World Cup, I also worked for TV4, Sweden's largest broadcasting network, and managed to do 322 hours in a month and a few days. Insane. Sure, the pay is good, but I am fairly confident I was not designed to work - if the work isn't actually my own choice. I can easily spend 15 hours a day coding on my own projects....
Maybe it isn't work per say, but working for someone else on stuff that doesn't really interest you? Oh, and to continue the rant: have you ever woke up in the morning and realised you've dreamt you were working. That's a double shift if I ever saw one. Raaaaant!
Now let this thread die again for another three years :)
Torque Owner John Kabus (BobTheCBuilder)
Anyway for me the weekends make it all worthwhile.
John.